Computer Geeks are Brilliant

I've been playing round with my new Mac, and found out that the browser has a porn browsing mode! They don't explicitly call it Porn Browsing, but I'm going to from now on. This is what it says in help:



When you turn on porn browsing, Safari stops storing certain information for you. For example, if you shop look at porn online at an Internet cafe, you can turn on porn browsing to prevent any information about the location or the transaction from being stored on the computer to prevent someone finding this information after you finish.

Isn't it amazing?

Talk Like a Pirate Day

As you probably already know, it's Talk Like a Pirate Day. Although for that website, it's How to Sell a Book Day.

This gives people that aren't real pirates a chance to go round saying "avast" and "yarr". Ok, but pirates get enough exposure already, and I'm already petitioning to return "yarr" to the Oxford English Dictionary.

Yarr

Don't fuck with me, I'm a pirate.

It could still happen.

What we really need is Act Like A Pirate Day. We set aside a day once a year to get in a ship, and have a good few hours of raping and pillaging. That way, the annoying girl at work won't be able to jump on the bandwagon (well, boat) and if you live close enough to a port, she'll end up disembowelled by a rampaging, cutlass wielding man in a pirate costume.

God Bless Google

For a laugh, because I enjoy self harm, I decided to look up Magic Numbers lyrics on google:

Visitors interested in The Magic Numbers lyrics may also interested in:.
James Blunt lyrics

'nuff said.

Frank Black gets away with being fat because he's cool, funny, and makes great music. The Magic Numbers should look to him, realise this, and then promptly go and jump off a cliff.

...

The Beta Band are releasing a best of, with this tracklisting:

01. Dry The Rain
02. Inner Meet Me
03. She's The One
04. Dr Baker
05. It's Not Too Beautiful
06. Smiling
07. To You Alone
08. Squares
09. Human Being
10. Gone
11. Broke
12. Assessment
13. Easy
14. Wonderful
15. Troubles
16. Simple

Pretty good, ya? It's probably the best introduction to one of the most wonderful bands ever, and it finishes with Simple. That's a fucking choon. (I've heard that I'm supposed to say that if I like a song.) The Hard One and Eclipse aren't there, probably because they're both long tracks. It's nice to see, in a Beta Band style, they couldn't be arsed arranging the tracks so that they flow coherently and just placed them chronologically, and as they appeared on the albums.

London

We went there to see this chappy. He rocked.

We also decided to go for the full tourist breakfast with extra toast, taking pictures of people in front of phallic monuments, and even getting hearded off the underground because there was someone shifty-looking on the train behind us.

We were very well behaved, leaving the first tasteless joke till 3 hours into the coach journey:

"Are we nearly there yet?"
"I don't think so, I can't hear any explosions..."

We've also written a new song for a pair of plastic bottles and mouth percussion, about someone that we met.

That man, he had a very nice suit,
he had a very nice suit,
he had a very nice suit,
I want a t-shirt with his face on

Other items of note:

-St James' Park, at times, looks like Disneyland

-It helps to remember the name, or location, of the place that you're supposed to be staying.

-Eating at McDonald's is a lot like masturbation; it seems like a good idea at the time, but it's never as enjoyable as you had first hoped, and you just end up feeling empty afterwards.

-We really must go back to that lovely cigar shop

ODinto Have I Got News For You

This week ODintomadness may, or may not, be featuring headlines taken from The Ukulele Occasional.

Bite into this...

Joe's midnight views on new Apple stuff:
iTunes 5.0 - not overly impressed with the design that much at the moment maybe it'll grow on me, but it does appear a bit too Windows style, despite obvious Apple things like a bit nicer. Ooh its like Microsoft are going with the new Windows, a bitt too like Apple but the Microsoft things such as crashing.
ipod nano - whatever you say, THAT is pretty and pointless therefore merger the two words and you get pointy so 'iPod nano - Pointy' (thinner than a pencil as well)
Rocksy or Roxy or whatever - it looks like my crappy £60 Motorola phone, a bit more design would be nice, but meh its alright.

So there...three apple things in one go, all in preperation for Ric's new Apple, starting a big revolution I tell you

...

Alison Goldfrapp on James Blunt's holding of No.1 against them:

"Everyone says that his songs are really infectious, but then again, so is flu."

What a Goddess.

Lighter and Aerosol Ahoy

I ended up getting up about 6am, because there was a damn gremlin creeping about the house. After setting him on fire, then kicking him out through the cat flap, I had nothing better to do, so I changed all the links into handy sections. You can now avoid all those god-awful webcomics that we read, you lucky person. There's also a hastily scraped togeather bands/labels section. Even better, Joe can edit them all, as it's on the template.

This has meant that I've actually read the links that we've been linking to for ages:

Funny or harsh? You decide.

Also, if you're worried about the demise of Soapy Goldfish, fear not, for he has been reincarnated as Leopard Spaghetti. Woo and fucking yey.

All Great Things Come from Kansas

Have you heard much about Intelligent Design? It's basically the design argument for the existence of a God taken one step too far.

Someone decided this would be a good thing to teach children in science lessons. However, the Kansas school board overlooked another religion based on scientific principles, The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Disasterous. You can read more about Flying Spaghetti Monsterism on its Wikipedia page

Because People Like to Play Dress-Up

Have some pictures of people in funny costumes. You might have to scroll down a bit. They look like they're enjoying themselves, and that's the important thing, ok?

That same blog also had a link to this, which got my inner geek very excited. Watch the trailer, they're using the original Sephiroth theme. It's probably the only time I've enjoyed listening to the combination of heavy guitars and a choir since I stopped my German power metal addiction.

Favourite new website

Here ya go

Junkies and Good Stuff

He who is but a twat has a new website which you can read about on NME just for a change.
In better news, Popworld is back on September 17th, which to those who are clever enough to work it out, is a Saturday. Will the magic remain 4 series in? Will they go the way of CD;Uk and Totp:Saturday? We Will have to see...