I turned right and got lost for 3 months

Do not worry, as I have been spending my time making sure Deal Or No deal continues in its brilliant little way without a hitch, as I'm the Banker. Me and Noel Edmonds make love, I like it when he lets me stroke his furry face. Just like a bears, except more masculine. I also found a castle I didn't know existed, apparently William Wallace knew about it over 800 years ago. I think that proves he should have got a real job instead of playing practical jokes on the English. For example, he could have been The Banker.
God knows how but I only have 236MB of space left, that's just stupid. I'm gonna delete this Windows programme, it seems to be taking up a lot of space.